Towards Good Enough

A diary means yes, indeed.  – Gertrude Stein Once or twice during each day I am overwhelmed by a moment of panic. What did I forget to do? What did I do wrong? Say, that I shouldn’t have said? Not said, that I should have said? A colleague/friend asked me if I had ever taken…

The Story I’m Telling Myself.

I love drama. But I don’t have to be Oscar Wilde: my life does not need to be my art. I can let my art be my art, and my life be one of ease.

Ready for the New Year!

Yesterday I got a Christmas present – several actually – from a friend far away. One of the packages was a book that I read in bed last night, laughing out loud. God, that felt good. 

A Word for the New Year?

I’m going to admit that I have a tendency to drink whatever current cultural Kool-aid is at hand… all the while convincing myself I’m above all the self-help seduction. Two years ago, I bought the idea that all aspects of my life had to dovetail into a single (saleable) focus. I was making Venn diagrams…

Starting with the Floor

How quickly this week has gone by. “Romjul” – the in-between days lost after Christmas, and before a new year begins. The seeming endless to-do lists, the two-hour tasks that stretch so easily into six or more. Suddenly the sun is setting, and you find yourself running the last stretch of the day’s 10K in…

On the Third Day of Christmas…

I forgot that the left-over turkey had been smothered in butter. I forgot that a flat white coffee at Starbucks entailed dairy. I forgot that coffee – technically – comes from a ground seed, and is not allowed on the autoimmune protocol. And then I wondered if I really can handle an even more restrictive…

Feuerzangenbowle and a New Direction

Last year I said something about the sun turning, and a colleague explained to me that the sun doesn’t really turn. I had to explain that I am not always as literal as I sound. And perhaps not as naive. And yet, here I am again, beginning again with the full optimism of someone who has…

My Body, Teaching, and the Outward Gaze

Apples, eggs, coffee? Yesterday’s healthful breakfast is an example of today’s “foods to avoid”. Today I have no idea what to eat. What is acceptable. What is forbidden. I know you are probably thinking that nothing should be forbidden. But I know myself. As much as I hate personality categories as anything more than tarot-like…

White Noise

A beautiful blank page. And a little meltdown from which I will recover. After a large glass of pinot noir and an allergy tablet, which – yes – I know I am not supposed to combine, but I might have developed an allergy to the blood-thinning medication I need to take twice a day for…

DVT Recovery and New Goals

On the day before I was discharged from the hospital, as the surgeon was inserting a stent in a vein in my pelvis – by threading it up through the back of my knee – I asked him when I could start running again. “You run?” “Every morning.” “You don’t look like – ” Surgeons…